JetmamaDiDi wrote:

Where is Gabriele? I've been thinking about her....is she having hip replacement surgery already??? Anyone know??

HOPE YOU ARE DOING OK, Gabriele....xoxox. Please let us hear from you when you have a chance. Hope your son is doing ok also.

Thankyou for asking, Jet.  All is going well enough at our end.  Hope all is well in the sisterhood and Niecey is improving.    

I will see the specialist beginning of August.  He only comes to our (semi-rural) town once a month.  So, it was that or travelling to the big smoke to see him earlier.  I am using a cane in the meantime.  More for balance, as I wouldn't be able any longer to catch myself if I had a stumble.  We have funding to get help for me around the house now, but I haven't yet found the right staff to hire. 

I had a funeral to go to after which I took a few days to find my zone again.  Not about death as such, but the surrounding circumstances and the tastelessness of the 'celebration'.  My lady-friend turned 65 and retired from volunteering.  Two days later, a co-worker asked her to come in again so that she (the co-worker) would not get in trouble with her entitlement to welfare payments (people are only allowed to work in pairs).  Being the selfless person she is, she did.  Coming home, she found her husband dead, believed to have initially blacked out because of his type 2 diabetes.  My lady-friend is burdened by guilt that he might still be alive, if she hadn't left for the day......They were together for 25 years.  I was the only person to have brought flowers to the funeral.  The casket floral decoration left in the hearse afterwards, perhaps for recycling or maybe they were plastic.  A speech was held citing countless bible psalms when the deceased and his wife were atheists.  No one other than my friend and I cried.  A hired 'celebrant' read some 'anecdotes' that made the deceased look like an idiot.  A slide show of family photos, higgledy-piggledy mixing up shots of his two marriages was shown, accompanied by 'Seasons in the Sun'.  When asked to share a memorable moment with him, no one stepped up (I had only met him three times).  Afterwards, the food was devoured greedily.  My friend, his wife told me that he disliked most of the people in attendance and they disliked him and she sat with me during refreshments afterwards, largely ignored by the rest of the 'mourning' party.     The whole thing made me sick to my stomach.....

Last edited by gabriele (6/18/2017 6:02 am)

I imagine for most of us in the sisterhood
our daddies have been gone for some time.  I know this is a hard holiday for CEK.

I was only 15 when my father died overnight at home.  Alive and seemingly well.....gone.  I am thankful for his strong faith, his upright living, and the sure knowledge that we will be reunited one day.

Also thankful that my son is a wonderful father, and my son-in-laws too.  

JetmamaDiDi wrote:

View from the Crow's Nest wrote:

Good afternoon, anyone...  
We are having a little rain shower so I thought I'd wait it out in "the ladies room"  Glad to see the rain, it is supposed to be over in an hour or so.  I think I will head out to the Garden Center and look at shrub roses which are, not only nostalgic to me in re: my mother...but also will grow in the partial shade area I'm dealing with now.

Let me look at those questions again... 






# 7   I would say I am usually 10 minutes early.  Even though I do not mind so much if I am kept waiting a bit, I HATE to be keep someone else waiting...especially the children.  So most likely will show up early, get a good parking place, ready the paper or such.

    But in a social sense, I would show up on time to a party if I though I could help the hostess. Otherwise I think it is more proper to be "fashionably late".  But certainly not later than 15 minutes without calling.  

   Sisters, if you are hosting dinner for a holiday get together, say Thanksgiving...when do you like folks to show up?  Do you say We plan to eat about 1:30?  And hope they come about 1:15 to help out and visit.  Or do you issue the invitation for 1:30 and say dinner will be served when the turkey is actually ready and the gravy made?

I know a woman who still talks about going to dinner at her daughter in law's mother's home and showing up at the assigned time (with her casserole) and they did not sit down to eat until 4 hours later.  She's still appalled all these years later.  LOLOL

 
Hi, View! This is a bit like "true confessions" but the story you related about eating 4 hours after the assigned time reminded me of a somewhat similar situation I had with hubby's family.....many years ago.

At that time (in the late '70's probaby--maybe very early '80's), my SIL (whom I have dearly loved--mutual feelings--and with whom I have always had a very special and sisterly relationship) and I would alternate hosting the family for Thanksgiving and Christmas (there are about 25 of us). Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and SIL's older daughter was born on Christmas, so I tried to be considerate. This particular year was a landmark birthday for my niece (16 or 18, I think) so I offered to do Thanksgiving to allow the birthday thing (they still always compete with Jesus!) to be however they wanted it to be. I told the family we would eat at a specific time....about 3, it seems. The meal was ready at that time and we were still waiting for ANYone to show up!! About 30 minutes later, I called my SIL to see what was going on. She said, "Oh, Mom and Dad came by here on the way to your house (we lived about 2 miles from each other!), and we're just sitting around talking!!" Well....considering this was the 2nd time this type of thing had taken place, I quietly sucked it up, took care of business, and decided if they so much preferred being at my SIL's house, she could just have every holiday there---and I NEVER hosted another holiday meal for the family!!! To this day I'm not sure anyone knows why I quit doing it, but that's ok. It works for me.....and after getting over feeling a bit dissed and 2nd rate, I almost never think about that situation now. You just do what you do and move on! But I did learn that I don't have to put myself out if it doesn't seem important to others!!! LOL. Why bother??

So I can truly identify with the guest who came on time and waited hours for the meal to be served!!! LOL. That would be just as rude!!

I am sure I would have done (and felt) exactly as you did, Jet.   !!!  Happy you were able to suck it up rather than making a big family fight out of it.  But I too would have washed my hands of hostessing any more holiday meals.

The nerve!  
Because she was not unfamiliar with just how much planning, prep, timing, and work had gone in to what you were offering. I would cut some slack to a person who might not know just how much it entails.

Some people,  smh.   Give of yourself where the gift is truly appreciated.

Last edited by View from the Crow's Nest (6/18/2017 12:59 pm)

gabriele wrote:

JetmamaDiDi wrote:

Where is Gabriele? I've been thinking about her....is she having hip replacement surgery already??? Anyone know??

HOPE YOU ARE DOING OK, Gabriele....xoxox. Please let us hear from you when you have a chance. Hope your son is doing ok also.

Thankyou for asking, Jet.  All is going well enough at our end.  Hope all is well in the sisterhood and Niecey is improving.    

I will see the specialist beginning of August.  He only comes to our (semi-rural) town once a month.  So, it was that or travelling to the big smoke to see him earlier.  I am using a cane in the meantime.  More for balance, as I wouldn't be able any longer to catch myself if I had a stumble.  We have funding to get help for me around the house now, but I haven't yet found the right staff to hire. 

I had a funeral to go to after which I took a few days to find my zone again.  Not about death as such, but the surrounding circumstances and the tastelessness of the 'celebration'.  My lady-friend turned 65 and retired from volunteering.  Two days later, a co-worker asked her to come in again so that she (the co-worker) would not get in trouble with her entitlement to welfare payments (people are only allowed to work in pairs).  Being the selfless person she is, she did.  Coming home, she found her husband dead, believed to have initially blacked out because of his type 2 diabetes.  My lady-friend is burdened by guilt that he might still be alive, if she hadn't left for the day......They were together for 25 years.  I was the only person to have brought flowers to the funeral.  The casket floral decoration left in the hearse afterwards, perhaps for recycling or maybe they were plastic.  A speech was held citing countless bible psalms when the deceased and his wife were atheists.  No one other than my friend and I cried.  A hired 'celebrant' read some 'anecdotes' that made the deceased look like an idiot.  A slide show of family photos, higgledy-piggledy mixing up shots of his two marriages was shown, accompanied by 'Seasons in the Sun'.  When asked to share a memorable moment with him, no one stepped up (I had only met him three times).  Afterwards, the food was devoured greedily.  My friend, his wife told me that he disliked most of the people in attendance and they disliked him and she sat with me during refreshments afterwards, largely ignored by the rest of the 'mourning' party.     The whole thing made me sick to my stomach.....

 
So glad you are doing ok, Gabriele.  Thanks for letting us know....and do please be careful so you don't fall.   Of course, you won't want to fall after the replacement(s) either (!), but you will be more secure on your feet (from what I have seen from friends and family who've had joint replacements; fortunate not to have personal experience in that--at least not yet!).

What a sad story of your friend, her guilt, and then the horrible service, memorial, funeral, or whatever you might call it.  I'm sure your friend was happy to be able to take refuge in your company and attendance.  I would have felt the same "sick to my stomach" queasiness you did.  Sounds awful...but then I wonder if there was a reason for making a big deal of the funeral when a more private and intimate good-bye might have been more appropriate?  We don't always know the correct route of march...particularly in a situation like this where it was unexpected.  I'm glad you were there for your friend, however.

View from the Crow's Nest wrote:

JetmamaDiDi wrote:

Just made littlest granddaughter (who will be 4 in July) the CUTEST stuffed elephant in a suitcase with several changes of clothes. One side of the suitcase is the elephant's bed; the other side is her dresser (to store the clothes) with a lamp and shade on top of the dresser and a window in the wall. Making the suitcase was fun until I got to the hinging and binding....but it is all finished now except for making a couple matching hair bows to velcro onto the elephant's head!!! LOL. Hope li'l 'un likes it....this child LOOOOOVES elephants!

LOL   
I've read through this a few times....can not visualize what you have made!!  
Pictures, please.
 

 

Had some precut fabric squares I put together to make the blanket/quilt.