KeepOnSinging wrote:

Good Evening Sisters,  I thought that I would begin to share with you all some of what has been happening with the Beloved Community Potluck Dinners that began in November of 2014.  I am going to start however by telling you all about a group of young black men who, beginning with our second dinner in Feb., have become an integral part of our dinners and are helping us shape our conversations.  BMI stands for Black Male Initiative.  In the spring of 2009 a young black woman (who along with 11 other people had  taken part in a small Beloved Community Dinner with me the previous Jan.) came to me and asked me to introduce myself to the men of BMI.  Why?  She told me that she thought I could find the right way to involve them and connect them to our community because I was the only white woman she had heard who was willing to talk about "scary black men" and how white people find it infinitely more difficult to relate to and accept them than they do to accept and relate to black women.  And so I found myself meeting their advisor and telling him that I had been asked to introduce myself because I was willing to talk about white people's perceptions of "scary black men."  It turned out that he was thrilled. We mapped out some ideas of how we could get these men involved in community events, particularly with helping with our annual Martin Luther King celebration, etc.  

I did not think to contact BMI for the Nov. 2014 first Beloved Community Dinner.  My mom died soon after and I did not remember to call them about coming to our second Beloved Community Potluck Dinner until Thursday before the dinner.  The president of BMI along with eight other men showed up that night, the coldest of the year, and joined members of First Lutheran Church in greeting people as they came.  Their arrival lifted all the spirits of everyone who was already there.  We could feel it.  At the end of the evening, one young man endeared himself to everyone when it was his turn to share by saying, among other comments,  "I never knew white old people could be so funny."  And then after dinner all those men dressed, dressed in their suits and ties, took out the garbage and helped with all the cleanup.  And they did all this with grace and joy. And so it has been every dinner since then.  In May I asked the president and president elect to join us in our planning sessions, never longer than 90 minutes, and help us shape the tone and conversations of the dinners. Church teams loved having them come.

The purpose of BMI is to do their part to change the perception in our culture of the African American man. 
Reggie Bates, last year's president of BMI is now the VP of NIU's Student Association  and was also this year's NIU Homecoming King.  Jacob Clayton took Reggie's place as president, and Jacob's right hand man is Noah Baker.  As you all may or may not remember, these dinners began as an outcome to a Unity March the Jr. pastor at New Hope Missionary Baptist initiated in the wake of the Michael Brown shooting in Ferguson, Mo.  The overarching goal of the annual Unity March (Another was held in Oct. of 2015) which is hosted by the two police chiefs, one  NIU the other for the City of DeKalb, and for these dinners is to connect with each other and create a community that will work towards non violent solutions, especially in the case of unarmed individuals.  At one dinner for example, folks in DeKalb were stunned to find out that Jacob who hails from Louisiana was never stopped by the police in Louisiana.  Since he moved to Illinois, he has been stopped more than 30 times.   

On Dec. 11th and then in the early morning hours of Dec. 26, gun violence in Chicago has now become part of the BMI story.   On Dec. 11th Joseph Graves, who was Noah Baker's roommate, was found shot to death just hours after he got back to Chicago after finishing his finals at NIU.  To date no one has been arrested for his murder.  (I mentioned Noah in a previous paragraph because he has become a big part of moving these dinners forward.)

Then, in the early morning hours of Dec. 26, 19 year old Quintonio LeGrier, an honor student in high school and at NIU, was shot and killed by police.  Quintonio was an electrical engineering major and honor student, who from all reports was also a top notch chess player.  Reggie Bates recruited him to come to NIU and join BMI.  Quintonio attended our Nov. 2015 dinner.  

The circumstances surrounding his death and the death of a 55 year old mom of five are heart breaking.  He had begun to struggle with mood swings, and his dad called the police thinking that they would help his dad get Quintonio to the hospital to get the help he needed.  His son was restless and agitated, not like himself,  and threatening to use a baseball bat against his dad which is when his dad called the police before things got worse.  In the meantime the dad also called the downstairs neighbor to ask her to let the police in when they knocked at the door.  She opened the door and was shot immediately as was Quintonio.  The dad has been quoted as saying, "I called the police to get help.  They had tasers.  There were no weapons here. Why use guns first when the police had  tasers on them?  

No matter how much this dad had heard and read about police shootings, he still believed that when he called the police, they would come and help him and his son.  This is the first police shooting of an unarmed black man since the discovery of the video of Laquan McDonald being shot down 400 days ago.  In both laquan's case and Quintonio's case they were dealing with mental health issues.  Quintonio's story is a major news story in Chicago.  

Now the issue of police violence has touched the life of a young black man who was bright, was an honor student, and by all the comments on facebook, a delightful person and good friend.  And for many white people in our community, the men from BMI are becoming their sons, grandsons or brothers.  NIU's police chief is one of the most vocal supporters of these dinners.  And he works directly with Noah to make sure that any man from BMI who wants to attend a dinner and does not have a ride, he will personally make sure that all of them have rides.
I guess that one reason I do not post as often as I could is that often my subject matter is so serious and heavy.  For me in all the heartbreak of these past two weeks, there is also hope, hope that these young men from BMI with their stories and their wonderful attitudes will help us shape a community that works together to prevent this violence from becoming common place in our community.   I took two of them with me when I was invited to speak at a Kiwanis gathering.  I spoke for 5 minutes and then gave them the rest of the time.  They were a smash hit.  When Jacob was asked why he  and BMI had made a major commitment to these dinners, he looked at his advisor who had also come, and then said, "To be honest, this has been the best service project in which we have ever been involved."   

If you are interested, we have a Facebook Page: Beloved Community of DeKalb County Illinois.  It has to be much better organized which is what Noah Baker was to help me do before these two deaths and funerals.  I post quite a bit on there.  And since our Kiwanis talk and our Dec. 13th dinner, the FB page has become much busier.  And if you would like to encourage Jacob Clayton, he has begun his own business, I Iconic Impressions.  He would love it if you would go to his Iconic Impressions FB page and like it.

Happy, happy fourth day of Christmas to all of you. 

Thanks for sharing the update on the dinners KOS (((hugs)))  I have been missing hearing about them   you guys are doing an amazing and much needed thing with these dinners..... thank you for sharing a bit of them with us  I will be praying for you all as you continue the dinners and look forward to hearing more about the progress of them as well as the challenges (((hugs)))

I have read and re-read KOS' post...

Such an inspiration. Hope for a better tomorrow.
 

Speaking of hope for a better tomorrow and THE NEW YEAR which is just around the corner...

The clock is ticking away.  Almost there!   And yet I probably will not be posting for a few days.  We leave tomorrow, early in the morning for Wisconsin.  I may be busy or unable to get a signal etc. in the rural area where we will spend most of the time.   Oh, sure.  We will hit the Mall of America at least once. 




But in case you don't hear from me for a few days, that's what's up.

 

april6263 wrote:

View, unobstructed wrote:

Bitterly cold here today - below zero.  Clear, sunny, no wind though.  That helps. 

Have a great day. friends.  Wish we could get together over a hot toddy, mulled wine, or just a steaming cup of Chai.

any snow??????

We have snow today.

New Year's Eve I'm probably going to be home watching whatever is on Disney Channel (or Nick at Night, depending on what's on). I will probably pop by the board for a visit.
 

So... 

Love you guys.  

Stay safe, stay warm, designate a driver, and find someone to kiss at midnight.  
 

Last edited by View, unobstructed (12/29/2015 11:24 am)